Second thoughts (on a third)

I had planned to take this site down, but I'm leaving it up for now. For one thing, other infertile couples might benefit from reading my story.

Second, I might, just might, try again. My husband's new job covers IVF through their health insurance. Without the insurance, we wouldn't do it again, but now, w e l l , it's something to think about.

In the meantime, please visit my , which is mostly about Penn State but is transitioning to a mom blog.

Final thought...

I'm just stopping back by the old blog to close it out in case anyone was wondering where I am.

My second IVF was successful and Megan Isabel was born on August 1. She s such a delight! I am over-the-moon with this child.

Also, Penn State is basically my backyard and I've started a new blog about the sex abuse scandal and Joe Paterno's legacy. It can be found at StateCollegeMom.

Thanks for everyone's support through my fertility treatments. I'm thrilled to see so many of you have babies now too.

BFN on Friday

Period started today.

But I have a really clean bathroom.

Not sure what's coming up next. I have a follow-up appt next Friday for blood work and to make sure everything is returning to normal.

Results tomorrow but big plans regardless

I have my blood work first thing tomorrow morning and will get a call sometime in the afternoon with the results. I'm hopeful, but realistic. I haven't had any bleeding but I've been having cramps for several days. I keep expecting to see my period and feel like I'm playing peek-a-boo with my underwear every time I go to the bathroom.

But to head off any upsetting news, I have a plan that will at least ease some of the disappointment.

I mentioned on a previous post my GAP-BAG idea. Since IVF is the big time now, I'm treating myself to a few things, even though they'll seem silly to most people.

First, my bathroom is gross. My house was built in 1841 and I don't know when the bathroom was added, but it's been a few decades since it's been updated. Since we're not in a position to do major upgrades, I'm going to scrub the bathroom from top to bottom using some kind of cleaner that I'd avoid if pregnant. Sound fun? I'm actually looking forward to it.

Second, similar story with the windows. I've been wanting to clean them, inside and out, for a while but didn't want to tax myself. But with the dead bugs that are collecting outside the screens and the cat paw prints on the glass, it's time.

Third, I'm getting more highlights put in my hair. The cut, which was drastically short a year ago, is finally growing out to a length that's almost cute and I really like the blonde that's in it now. I've heard different opinions on whether you should avoid highlighting while pregnant, so if I'm pregnant, my roots will show. If not, I'm going dirty blonde.

Fourth, brown riding boots. Completely impractical since the only horse I've come close to in the past 15 years are on merry-go-rounds, but I really like them. I admit this decision may be Star Wars influenced. Everyone's wearing riding boots in the original trilogy, which I spent way too much time watching with Ryan this summer. There's just something about those boots.

No real news but doubtful

I've gotten some lovely email and phone calls from dear friends asking if I know anything. I go in for my blood test on Friday but I'm just not really feeling it. I've had a lot of cramps over the past few days and am feeling bummed and somewhat bitter about the whole process, especially the fact that I didn't get any frosties so I'll need to repeat the whole thing if this cycle is a bust.

I just hope the blood test on Friday is pretty obvious. I'd rather have a complete negative than a low positive that could just be residual from my HCG shots. I don't want to spend another week not really knowing and going for blood draws to compare numbers.

In a more positive note, my husband has turned out to be an excellent PIO shot-giver. I'm starting to get sore all over my butt from the shots, but the actual needle only hurts a little bit thanks to Kirk's steady hands and overall awesomeness.

So technically, I'm pregnant

Today I had my embryo transfer. The whole thing was kind of fun and the doctors were are in playful moods. They showed us the embryos in their little plastic house under a microscope. It was really neat to see them and it put everything in perspective.

They grade their embies on a scale of 1-4, 1 being crappy and 4 being lovely. I have a 3.5, a 3, and a 2.5. The last one had a hard shell and probably won't implant, but it made it an easier decision to put all three in. If all three were perfect 4s, we might have gone with 2 transferred, but the chances of all three taking are so slim, especially how all of my numbers dropped quickly during this whole process (16 follies, 8 eggs, 5 fertilized, 3 good ones).

My estradiol was 1972. They like it to be over 2000 so I'll be taking another HCG shot on Sunday afternoon. I was close enough to 2000 that the doc wasn't going push the extra shot on me, but he recommended it and said it would be my decision. It can only help, so we'll do it.

So for right now, I have three embryos in my uterus, meaning that I'm pregnant. Hooray! I'm also on bed rest for a day which is a double hooray. Now I have to keep my fingers, and my legs, crossed that Jack, Chloe, and Nina (24 fans understand) find a nice piece of uterus to settle in to.

Egg retrieval

So, first of all...wow. That really hurt. I don't know if they didn't give me enough meds or what, but I was wide awake the whole time and felt everything. Thirty-six hours later, it still hurts to laugh or sneeze.

The good news was that I had 16 follies. Bad news is that only eight had fully developed eggs. Of those eight, they were able to do ICSI on five, four fertilized, and three made it to 2pns. The fourth had 3pns so that guy doesn't count.

I only have three embies, which is better than none but still disappointed. I wanted to have some left over for frosties but that's not going to happen. If this round doesn't work, I'd have to stim all over again.

Transfer will be on Friday morning. I'm going to ask them to put all three in hoping that at least one will make it. There's no point in freezing just one since I wouldn't bother doing an IVF cycle with just one anyway.